OK - it's not that bad. But- I guess I need to expect ups and downs. Maybe I was just tired last night - it was a busy day, lots to do. But I did feel discouraged by the end of it. I can't say that it was HIV related - I got discouraged with the scene before I knew as well. It seems like guys that I am attracted to will pay attention one week, and be over it the next. Maybe I am too shy and too much effort is involved - maybe they are shy as well. Or maybe that's just an excuse.

It's nice to have attention paid to you that's innocent, playful. But sometimes I swear - I either feel like I am being pursued or being avoided. And I don't know why I even care! It's not like I am trying to start anything, but it is good to know that there is the option of exploring that.

OK - a shower will change my perspective - getting out in the day will brighten my mood...