Predators and Prey

I have heard from 4 guys now who tell me that they are in similar situations as myself. The situation is, that they were in "commited relationships" with guys having unprotected sex. The other half breaks up with them, and allows no communication. The guys who wrote to me then got tested and discovered they were positive. It sounds like a theme. It is just so hard for me to believe that there are so many men out there who would be like this to people they told, "I love you."

What is it about the type of guy who thinks that he needs a clean break and demands it without consideration of their ex-partners feelings? It strikes me as immature, certainly selfish, and downright mean spirited. Part of me wants to think that the universe offers some sort of pay-back, that what goes around comes around. But the truth is that these types of guys will move on to the next relationship and pull the same crap on the next person. There's the old saying about leopards not changing their spots. Personality traits as deeply ingrained as this one don't just pop up then go away.

I am not saying that there aren't times when clean breaks aren't warrented. If the partner was violent or mentally cruel, for example. But based on my experience and the experiences that have been relayed to me - these guys treat you so well, then for no apparent reason, suddenly break up with out explanation.

If 4 guys based on an admittedly small readership relay the same story - then this must be a common experience. There is no shortage of assholes in the world, but it is more than that now, and dangerous at the same time. If these men who did the breaking up were actually positive - and then refused communication and just move on to an unsafe sexual relationship with the next guy... well - you get the picture. It's immoral and illegal. I am sure many of these men never bother to get tested, insisting on operating under a construct of denial - that they are negative. Does carefully maintained ignorance constitute a legal or moral defense? Of course not.

But barring any definite proof, what is to be done? The world is a beautiful place, and there are wonderful people in it. But in this case the wolves walk among the sheep. Predators and prey. That they pretend to themselves that they are sheep makes no difference.

At the same time, we need to remember that we bear some responsibility for what happened to us. We know what's out there and the type of people who are out there as well. I kick myself for believing someone because I trusted and loved them. I can't say that it was my ex who infected me, and neither can the men who wrote to me. My ex at least informed me that he was tested and is negative. But these other guys - I have a hard time believing that we were all in unsafe relationships with partners who wanted to bearback - and then remain negative - while their partners end up positive. There aren't many people out there who would believe this to be the case.

Do you have any experiences to share like this? Different but relevant?

Let me know