Realities

May 18, 2006

OK - I knew that there would be times like last night. I was watching TV, full from a meal - and just really didn't want to think about taking my night time supplements. Trivial. But it dawned on me - regardless of what I end up doing - whether it's supplements or traditional meds, the rest of my life will be dictated by some form of medication schedule. I knew that on some level before last night, but the reality of it hit me last night.

I asked myself - would I rather be taking 6 pills a day that my doctor is recommending and all the side effects and future problems they may present? Or would I rather take a huge amount of anti-oxidants with limited side effects? The answer is still pretty clear. The longer I can hold off on traditional meds, the better. I don't even know if they will have an impact on my counts at this point, but I am hoping.

Best case scenario - they have at least a modest impact that will delay having to take traditional medications. This allows me to see what is in the med pipeline - hopefully drugs that are less toxic and easier to take.

It's just - in the meantime, it's hard to think that I am facing this future. I don't want every day to be ruled by having to think about this. I don't want it to be how I define my life. I am sure there are huge numbers of people in my position who feel this way, and even larger numbers of people who have adjusted to this reality. It would be good if I could connect with some of them and figure out how to make that transition, and as painlessly as possible.

Any help in this matter would be appreciated.