I'm Back...

I hope everybody had a great Pride weekend, here in Chicago, or wherever you celebrate.

The weather for our Pride here in Chicago was iffy at best - sprinkled at the start of the parade, but the weather turned nice by the end of it. The most memorable part of the parade for me was having a car drive over my right foot as I tried to scam a t-shirt. A little black and blue, not too much worse for wear...

I wish I could say that things continue to get better. The fact is - yesterday and this morning have seen some of the worst anxiety of recent weeks. It's very discouraging. I relayed this information to the doctor on Friday - and I did get a prescription for xananx. It seems to help for a little bit, but it wears off quickly. I don't want to take too much, so I don't know if it will really work for me or not.

My biggest hope for the xanax was that it would keep me from thinking about the other things going on in my life, or at least concentrating on them so much. But, and I credit the Sustiva for this, I find myself thinking or dreaming in my sleep about every little thing that bothers me these days.

One thing that is kind of bothering me... I went to a local club here in Chicago Friday night for an HIV social sponsored by a local HIV clinic. A guy started talking to me, nice conversation, but then he turns it on me, saying that I didn't chat with him on-line earlier that day. He acted kind of pissy about it. I tried to explain, but then stopped, figuring - what's the use? I think the better thing for me to do is to just stay away from the chat rooms instead of trying to explain when and where I am, and why I can't chat all the time. It pisses me off, because there are people that I like to communicate with, and I do enjoy talking to new people when I have the time. Maybe I will change my mind now that I am going to be on the road again with a working computer.

There are actually better things to talk about than this. The HIV social was a really good experience, so I will discuss that more later. Fact is, I need to finish getting ready to get on the road.

I am hoping that travel this week will calm me down and I can again feel steady.